OK... Now I'm really confused.
87 is + always, as expected. From there it is all downhill.
86, yes 86 (not 85) is + for 2 seconds after turning ON the key, and for 2 seconds when you turn OFF the key.
30 - This is the ONLY place I have ground.
Jumping + (either from 87 or from the battery post) to 30 would just make sparks fly.
85 is not grounded.
From this it seems to me that either we have a short on the gray (120) wire, or that the diagram may be from the wrong model year (highly unlikely, though if 85 is NOT ground, then...)
On the upside, after taking out the relays and testing, then putting the relay back, I tried again, and NOW I have power at the connector (310) for 2 seconds after turning on or off the key. Even better I have power all the way to the connector on the pump/sender head... I don't know what is different NOW, but there IS power where before there was not.... The brand new pump still won't run, so I guess it's off to get a different one...